I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
