Nicole vs. Life
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
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Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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