how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
