he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
