i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
