I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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