i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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