i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
