I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
