i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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