i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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