Dual....:-)
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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