He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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