This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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