i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I didn't notice because vodka
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
