No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize