the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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