Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
