woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My feet surprised me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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