By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
