I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
