when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
