can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
