I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A+ Viking dick
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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