Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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  (510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy
  Replies (25) Good night (4393) Bad night (836)
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  (209): View more from California

  I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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  (209): I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own. http://tfl.nu/zoa7
  Replies (72) Good night (926) Bad night (3386)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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  (712): The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place. http://tfl.nu/0x49
  Replies (39) Good night (971) Bad night (6996)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1410) Bad night (4008)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…

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  (443): Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix… http://tfl.nu/f2fy
  Replies (3) Good night (2208) Bad night (903)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

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  (917): I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex. http://tfl.nu/nr6p
  Replies (7) Good night (5472) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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  (219): I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/t98c
  Replies (2) Good night (1999) Bad night (950)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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  (919): For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/ot7o
  Replies (2) Good night (2192) Bad night (857)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

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  (516): Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar http://tfl.nu/xg4s
  Replies (6) Good night (3031) Bad night (882)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete

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  (414): Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete http://tfl.nu/c68q
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (903)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.

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  (712): ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was. http://tfl.nu/plh1
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (1191)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (405)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.

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  (401): Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house. http://tfl.nu/mj8z
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (352)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.

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  (585): She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies. http://tfl.nu/cc7w
  Replies (5) Good night (293) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved

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  (315): There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved http://tfl.nu/5bwp
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (148)

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