Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1609) Bad night (503)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.

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  (239) Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night. http://tfl.nu/4wnh
  Replies (1) Good night (985) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.

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  (952): i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor. http://tfl.nu/i20y
  Replies (26) Good night (2496) Bad night (586)
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  (650): View more from California

  Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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  (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy
  Replies (47) Good night (5027) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday

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  (608): margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday http://tfl.nu/m5c8
  Replies (11) Good night (3543) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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  (703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf
  Replies (17) Good night (4286) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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  (253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh
  Replies (11) Good night (2392) Bad night (878)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

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  (915): Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn. http://tfl.nu/g641
  Replies (3) Good night (1701) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.

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  (250): At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here. http://tfl.nu/zp01
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (2317)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

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  (262): I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS http://tfl.nu/9hqo
  Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  (701): Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client. http://tfl.nu/dueq
  Replies (6) Good night (1726) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.

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  (339): You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once. (781): I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/l29g
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?

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  (707): Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick? http://tfl.nu/yjm9
  Replies (8) Good night (366) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?

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  (413): So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober? http://tfl.nu/dhkh
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge

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  (610): we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge http://tfl.nu/izh2
  Replies (1) Good night (926) Bad night (388)

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