the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
