What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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