is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize