Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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(813): View more from Florida

I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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(562): View more from California

New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you never un-have a 4some

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(916): View more from California

I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.

(707): View more from California

Which part?

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