I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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