I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
