Your mouth is God's brothel.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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