please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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