Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
