So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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