I think I am morally bankrupt
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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