I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I didn't shave. On purpose
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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