Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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