i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
