i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize