I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
