Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
FUCK WHALES
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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