If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
