And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
