Fuck appropriateness.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
