Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
