She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
