I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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