i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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