my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
