I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
3pm strippers are depressing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
