Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
