We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
