you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
