You just made me feel so damn special
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
