what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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