he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you had me at cake vodka
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just forgot I was standing up.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
