piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize