I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
