I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
