I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize