so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize